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Young, beautiful, tender, slender…

The best in cooking,

The best in hosting,

For no one is looking.

Just boasting!

The picture was really unique.

When I looked at it I felt sick.

 

Why should I cry? What for?

My make up costs much more.

The law of our life:

If you don’t get used to all  you’ll die.

If you don’t die you’ll get used to all.

 

One bottle of vodka for a fool

Turns into a rocking stool.

John, will you offend me?

-Offend? You? Never!

I never offend women.

-But if I do something wrong?

-I’ll kill you.

Why should I offend you?

You are my pride

Which I would like

Somewhere to hide.

 

She doesn’t like the sea food,

She likes the sea of food.

 

The best way of trust

100% of payment in advance.

On the right foot

I’ll put on a boot.

On the left foot

I’ll put on a shoe.

For you to see

That I am nervous.

AIDS – Added infection during sex.

I am thinking to give up drinking.

But how can I do that?

I am in the greatest fear

as beer costs less than milk.

Isn’t it the greatest bilk?

May be I am not as strong as it seems to be,

But I am not as weak as someone wants me to be.

It’s not the question  whom to marry,

It’s the question what to do with the rest?

Gary. Larry, Barry, Jerry……

Hello! Is it the right number?

  If you have nothing to say keep quiet,

If you have nothing to show you are retired.

Her conscience is so transparent and clean

That it will never be seen.

 

A woman does it sitting,

A man does it standing,

A dog does it raising its paw.

 

That’s how they meet,

That’s how they greet,

That’s how they say “Hello!”

And what did you think?

Any tale can be true

If you know who is who.

 

If to be true

I wouldn’t like you telling me what to do.

Otherwise I will tell you where to go

And it could be an interesting show.

 

Buy this watches

With diamond blotches!

They are like Swiss made.

Ok! Here are dollars hand made.

 

Wisdom comes with age.

But isn’t it strange

When sometimes the age comes alone

And moans, moans, moans…..

Yesterday was early,

Tomorrow will be late,

Today I have no time.

I wish you to lose all your teeth,

But one tooth let remain

To feel that tooth pain.

 

Do not protest!

As it’s the best!

After doing nothing

To have a good rest.

 

A soul wants a picture,

An ass - an adventure.

 

I am always polite,

And think I am right.

When I send him to hell

I always recall and ask

If he is well.

Take it as a rule:

Break pregnancy

Before the intimacy.

 

Alcohol kills slowly.

Don’t worry!

I am not in a hurry.

 

Pessimist thinks all women are whores.

Optimist that statement adores.

 

If you are a good lad

Every child should call you dad.

 

I will not give up drinking

But I will go on thinking

If I should give up smoking.

 

After drinking Russian vodka

An Englishman from Yorkshire dialect

Has broken into debauchire dialect.

After drinking whisky

Some men are so frisky,

But some are so boring,

All night snoring.

 

I am looking for a husband and a friend.

If they come together I’ll withstand.

 

My mother wanted a boy,

My father wanted a girl.

That’s how they’ve met.

 

If you don’t want to spend your money for a little Willie

Don’t be silly and protect your willy.

Children ask where from the things appear.

Parents ask where the things disappear.

 

He was a man of my dream

Until the time I found out his dream.

 

The world is boring for boring people.

The less you know – the better you sleep,

The more you know – the better you eat.

 

Oh, darling! You are the best out of the rest.

I will explain. Yesterday I was convinced in it again.

I’ve bought tea for losing weight.

It’s not so bad with a cake.

 

 

Can’t find a tool

to communicate with a fool.

 

 

-How many things do you need?

-Just a few, but every day something new.

 

I am your present folks.

Will you be my box?

 

I had the greatest chance

to learn how to dance

as we had one chamber-pot.

Here is a dot.

 

He thought she would cook like his mother

But…it happened she drank like his father.

 

I am absolutely indifferent  to

what you think about me

as…I don’t think about you at all.

 

There are people with horns,

There are people with thorns,

There are people with only worms.

He tried to prove

that he was not a fool.

But in his eyes

I saw an elementary school.

 

Don’t look at me with fear!

It’s much better to drink beer.

I am looking for a man

who smokes, drinks and thinks

he is the best.

I’d like to share with him

the same interests.

 

She was an angel lass,

but…with tattoo on her ass.

Better to be smart and sometimes dull

than dull but sometimes smart.

A man’s logic is convincing,

a woman’s – more interesting.

 

All women are angels.

But when they break the wings,

to overcome the troubles

they may use any things,

even to fly on the broom

in the night’s gloom.

 

Who will help me to get rid of menses

with the guarantee for 9 months?

All women are young,

but…..some are younger.

 

I am not sad,

I am sober.

 

I am not a present,

I am a surprise.

I drink three days a week.

They all start with letter ‘T’.

Tuesday, Thursday, Today.

 

There are so many good guys,

There are so many nice names,

But I have the one who lies

With a horrible name James.

            A drunken man shouted as his voice allowed:

            Where am I? I feel like to cry!

            You are in Soho square if to be fair.

             Hell with nicety ! Tell me the city!

 

Forbid Viagra for those who have podagra!

Let the pensioners  have a good sleep!

Let them their life keep!

 

He: Well, Ann!  With a johny I don’t feel so much horny.

And…using any condom it’s not a treason.

She: Well, to be silencer I'll be just a trespasser but not a murderer. 

 

If you don’t believe in love at first sight

look at me once more from another side,

I hope you’ll see something to adore.

How many times should I repeat?

I am not a slacker,

I am a hacker.

 

Let’s have a bet for 100 dollars!

If I use a fuse you’ll refuse.

 

Poles, trees and lakes

are the best brakes.

 

Everyone could be much wiser

If that one would find a sympathizer.

 

Any plan without intent –

The essence of a content.

-Why did you marry?

-Had no life experience.

-Why did you divorce?

-Had no patience.

-Why did you marry again?

-Have lost my memory.

 

I could send you somewhere

But only can tell you, if you care:

You have just come from there.

 

The things you could do today

You can do the day after tomorrow

And without any sorrow

You’ll have two days of rest.

 

You are so fashionable

And  I am not profitable.

 

He is richer than me for 10 years.

 

OUR LIFE IS SHORT

 

It seems you forgot, our life is short.

There is no time to beg or extort for support.

Learn how to live yourself.

Take a book from the shelf and…

delicately leafing page after page

you will find a wood sage.

People are like books,

some of them are good,

some of them are bad,

some of them are just mad,

some of them are not sassy,

they look more glassy,

they are not gassy,

they are classy

like books on the shelf

waiting for a warm hand.

Milliards of people are on the Land,

each one needs the right hand

so that to open it like a book and read.

If you manage to do it

you’ll succeed to learn a lot.

Remembering that life is short

you’ll learn how to burn the useless things,

how to leave the one without a gun

who troubles brings,

how to live with those you adore,

And… much  more.

 

Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)

 

THE CHAT OF TWO WOMEN

 

Two classmates were chatting.

 Accidentally they've met in the street,indeed,

 they were not so old and not so young,

 much more than forty.

 The first one said:"I feel so young

 and want to be sometimes so naughty,

 I want to love again and certainly be loved,.

 I want the romances to sing,

 I want to fly so high in a swing,

 I want to dance under the rain,

 in Spain, on the plain..............,

 to hear sweet words of love again,

 to die of passion."

 Another one said with a compassion:

 "What are you talking about?

 I can live happily without

 all those crazy wishes of yours,

 cause I don't like anyone

 to shatter my peace and quiet,

 I think how soon I'll be retired.

 Put those foolish wishes out of your head.

 We are getting old,

 all we had had already past.

 I remember you've always been an enthusiast.

 Two women were chatting,

 The first one just forgetting her age,

 the other one was old enough

 and her life was really tough.

 Two women were chatting,

 Two different destinies and souls.

 The first one was full of life,

 the second one was getting empty.

 

 Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)

August 14th, 2010

 

 

 

 

TO MY GRANDSON

 

I will tell you about me like this:

I will never be tall,

I will never be small,

I will never be a man,

I will never be a football fan.

I would certainly like to have coffee in bed,

but  it looks so sad,

as I’ll have to get up,

without any make up,

then … to dress, then to undress.

I will never jump as high as 2 meters,

because…I won’t be able to run up.

May be I could run up but…

 I won’t be able to come off the ground

and everyone will laugh around.

I will never get a Nobel Premium

I will not live a millenium.

I will never sing at the Opera House,

I will not live in Laos

and a young guy will not tell me:

I love you and miss.

But now, I know quite well,

there is something I have to tell

to my grandson, to my dearest one.

I have passed through all.

Now you are tall.

You have to understand,

it’s not so easy to live on this Land.

You are free to chose,

but I don’t want you to lose.

I haven’t become this or that

but I never regret of the passed days.

I will give you nothing

but my life experience.

 and without any interference into your life

I would like to say:

Have patience!

Have enough valiance!

Never think about vengeance!

Give to older ones reverence!

Live your life with prudence!

 

Larisa Rzhepishevska ( Odessa, Ukraine)

August 2nd, 2010

IT SEEMS I WANTED TOO MUCH

 

It seems I wanted too much:

or may be just a touch.

May be a little bit more:

happiness with the one I adore.

May be a good morning kiss,

or sweet words: “My honey I miss”.

 

It seems I wanted too much:

to be happy as such,

to fly in the sky like a bird,

to be understood without a second word,

to listen to the songs of my Lord,

to give a smile and behave like a child.

 

It seems I wanted too much:

to live without any mistakes,

without any heart breaks.

I wanted my soul not to be cold,

to live without any storms,

to feel your heart warmth.

 

It seems I wanted too much:

to turn into a dove,

to swim on the waves of love,

to meet with you every dawn,

to have the wings of a swan

and never be alone.

 

It seems I wanted too much.

 

Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)

The 4th of August, 2010

 

 

 

OUR DESTINY

 

All our life is full of temptations,

aggravations, sensations, relations…,

good and bad morals,

trifling quarrels, insults,

disappointments and losses,

the worn out clothes,

treacheries and complaints,

events we can’t prevent,

some things we can’t withstand,

stresses and shocks,

difficulties to open some locks,

unpleasant deeds,

skillfully collected on the threads.

All our life is the urge towards light,

the fight against  ignorance and harm,

ability to look for a charm.

Having knotted our weakness

we search for strength and happiness.

All our life is full of flights,

big and small victories

and memories of beautiful days,

lilac blossom Mays,

memories of happy years,

love that suddenly appears,

meetings with our friends.

That’s life! Full of events,

events which are full of happiness and worries,

sometimes with lots of hurries,

hopes and disappointments,

mopes and compliments,

loves and hates,

Fool’s mates,

truth and lie,

black and white,

days and nights.

They all walk together

not caring about the weather.

All our life is a pattern of events.

Slowly but surely,

trying to find a harmony,

they make our destiny.

 

Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)

The 7th of August, 2010

YOUR WISH IS GREAT

(devoted to my grandson Ilya)

 

Your wish is great,

but don't be late!

No one denies

that time flies.

Do not relate

that it's a tale!

Yes, you can fail

and make mistakes

in this or other case.

But do be strong!

Your life is long.

But don't be wrong!

Do not complain!

But try again!

Your wish is great!

You shouldn't wait

for the fairy to come

or for someones' alarm.

But do your best

and …you'll be  blessed.

 

Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)

The 2nd of August, 2010

OUR LIFE LOOKS LIKE A ZIBRA

 

Our life looks like a zebra,

 sometimes black stripes,

 sometimes white.

 The black stripes

 take turn of the white,

 like day and night.

 And sometimes

 our life zebra kicks

 making it's own tricks.

 

 Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)

July 19th, 2010

 

IT COULD BE SO NICE

 

It could be so nice to learn how to fly.

Though it’s a difficult task, but…

Let’s have a try!

It seems an easier task to learn to see a smile

among thousand of angry faces,

but… we are not on the races.

Let’s have a try!

It could be so nice to learn how to dream

and in the dreams to fly in the future,

it could be such an adventure

with knowledge to capture.

It could be so nice to learn how to believe

in love, in joy, in good and kind poems,

in awesome meetings that are random.

It could be so nice to see,

but better to understand

yourself and others,

your fathers and mothers.

It could be so nice to learn how to live,

to admire the stars in the sky,

to watch the seagulls fly,

to catch and value the moment

with the short name – LIFE.

 

Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)

HOW MUCH WE WOULD LIKE TO SAY…

 

How much we would like to say.

How little we say in reality.

How often we are afraid

And hide our souls in vanity.

 

How seldom we speak with each other

Because we are always in a hurry.

We make just a short breather

Thinking of our own worries.

 

How little we give the warmth

To those who badly need it,

Thinking of our own life storms

Write a short chit and forget it.

 

Wouldn’t it be better

To look at each others faces,

To ask questions that matter

And not to live as on the races.

 

Wouldn’t it be better for all

To see each others souls,

To break the indifferent wall

And make it the main goal.

 

Wouldn’t it be better if we start to speak

And tell the things we wanted to tell,

But we are still so tired and weak

And hide our souls in our own shells.

 

Larisa R (Odessa, Ukraine)

TO THE CREATER

 

You are with me in grief and happiness,

You are with me in joy and loneliness,

You are the One who gives me shelter and support,

You are my love and my reward.

You are the beginning of all and the end,

There is no one you ever offend.

You are my consolation,

You are my celebration,

You are my light

In the dark night.

In my perishable heart

I find the answers with your help,

You tell me which door to open,

You tell me how to dwell.

You tell me:

The sense of life is in one word:

Trust,

You tell me:

Don’t fuss, be cussed!

I can see my reflection in my children,

It means I am needed on this Land.

 

Larisa R (Odessa, Ukraine)

OUR LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS EASY…

 

Our life is not always easy

 Sometimes it rains hard

 But with every coming year

 You become wiser and smart.

 

 You value your past,

 You take care of present.

 The time goes fast

 Some things you still haven't.

 

 With the coming years

 You start to compare

 And it finally appears

 Not everything was fair.

 

 When you were younger

 The sun was warmer,

 The stars were brighter,

 The road seemed longer.

 

 But you know exactly

 After winter comes spring,

 You'll have new feelings,

 You'll have new wings.

 

Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)

The 10th of May, 2010

MY WISHES

 

I want to live, I want to love,

 I want to value someone,

 I want to be just brave enough

 to tell how much I love you.

 

 I want to value all my friends,

 to give them love and joy,

 I want to visit merry lands

 where no one is annoyed.

 

 I want to live, I want to fly,

 in all to be the best,

 and may be one day go as high

 as to the alluring Everest.

 

 I want to have a magic wish

 and always to be young,

 I want to catch a goldfish

 and learn her mother-tongue.

 

 I want to ask it for the wings

 and never let me cry,

 and to avoid all crappy things,

 to love until I die.

 

 I want to know victories,

 don't want to know troubles,

 don't want to know miseries,

 to live with no doubles.

 

 I want to live and be myself,

 to learn another culture,

 to meet one day with kind elf

 and sing the songs of nature.

 

 Those are my wishes told above

 but the main one is certainly love.

 I'll try to manage with them all

 with the God's help and his control.

 

 Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)

The 6th of May, 2010

Under the moonlight in the park

Young lovers had an evening walk.

His muscles you could see in the dark,

She was like a thin fragile stalk.

All the time the guy talked.

For a bet he crossed the bay

And it was on a stormy day.

He fought with the devils stream,

He heard the petrels scream.

How brave you are- she said,

If it were me I would be dead

For any money I wouldn’t cross that bay

I am a terrible coward – she wanted to say.

But he interrupted her, kissed and said:

You are my dearest sparrow-coward.

The stars were shining like silver nails

Ready to tell them fairy tales.

But all of a sudden as from the ground

Two strange figures of men appeared

No one else was around and…

The young man felt as if he was bound.

One of the strangers who was eared slowly neared.

You, chicks! Money , earrings, watches…Quick!

And the other one showed a knife saying:

Money or your young life?

The lad quickly took off his watch

And felt something wet in his crotch.

But it was not the same with the lass

She was outraged by this sass.

She stepped ahead and loudly said:

Damn fascist you are!

You are an enemy without breast,

You are looking for an arrest.

I don’t care about your knife

You dirty scoundrel! I will strive for life!

If I die you’ll be sentenced to death

If I stay alive you won’t go too far,

You’ll be found even in a jar.

She looked straight into his eyes

And the man felt that she didn’t say lies.

He was embarrassed and said to the second one:

To hell with them! It looks as if she is a bomb.

Two  figures disappeared round the corner,

Both of them looking like mourners.

 

Under the moonlight in the park

The stars now were dark.

A young couple walked,

You couldn’t hear them talk.

He was a guy with a sportsman’s figure,

She was a cowardly girl.

 

©Larisa Rzhepishevska (Odessa, Ukraine)

The 8th of March, 2012

 

 

 

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